What IS the point?

What is the point of being alive?

Is there just one? Or many?

Do we make up whatever reasons for existing that we want?

None seem to resonate with me right now. Maybe I’ve never had a real exciting reason to live, but now I’m just more aware of it.

Although, one legit reason I’m not outting myself now is because I wouldn’t want to abandon my dog.

So I guess I’m currently not killing myself because I want to outlive my dog. It’s only fair to her.

Besides that, there’s not really anything that stands out to me to be alive for.

Sure, there are things that I like to do…but these are all fleeting. Life itself is fleeting too.

I feel kinda calm about this topic. But I’m also crying right now, so maybe I’m not okay with it. Or maybe I can be both calm and not okay at the same time.

I felt a compulsion to write this all out, so perhaps that’s another fleeting reason to live today.

—Gratitude for my dog and for journaling—